I so incredibly know how much this is going to annoy people and make them angry and question how in the world I could be Christian.....so of course, this is going to be fun and make writing it a HELL of a lot easier.
{reminder: don't be pissed at me if you read and are cranky, you've definitely been aptly warned}
Sooooo........the most CRAZY/talked about/debated out book series came out and of course flew off the shelves and has had people buzzing about it left and right. When it first came out, I didn't even hear about it until I started reading about it on FB. People were on fire, either for it or against it. And there seemed to be nothing in the middle. So of course, naturally curious, I wikipedia'd this book to read about what was going on. Wikipedia told me that basically this book is about a man and a woman who meet and have this intensely INSANE relationship w/ one another and are all in this crazy bondage type relationship and they have rough sex and use whips and handcuffs and its all.just.kinky.insaneness. My first thought was "Who in the hell writes a book like this?" and THEN! I find out its a woman. How does a woman do this to another woman (regardless of the fact she's fictional...but still I mean...damn!) I didn't get it. I figure, eh, its a little too risque even for me so I'll sit that one out and take up the next great book series that pops up my way....
Bryan and I get married shortly after this and everything is a whirlwind of course. We depart for our honeymoon and I'm saddened to know that I now have nothing to read while enjoying my time in the sun (and by sun i mean under an umbrella w/ SPF 5000 on my pasty white body). Then we get to the honeymoon and we realize, we're so freaking tired it doesn't really matter AT.ALL. if we have a book or not.......we just want to nap. So nap we do all day every day. On the cruise however, I was thrust into the 50 shades debate yet again. There were 2 girls at our dining room table, 1 who just had money and never had to work and the other a librarian. Both tuned into the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and were both incredibly in love with the book. So I asked them point blank "is it as racy as they say it is?". Both looked at me with awe because I had just admitted that I was not reading the book. To them, it seems like such a tragedy. So they tell me pointedly, "you've got to read the book because its just not what it seems". Man! How could I resist that?!?!?!?! So we get back from our scorching Bahamian vacation and I tell my new husband of 5 minutes "hey baby, I totally wanna read 50 Shades now...will you be mad?" He surprisingly tells me "no I wont be mad, read whatever you want to read and if you don't like it then don't read it anymore" and then proceeds to DOWNLOAD THE BOOK FOR ME.....pretty bitchin' husband I'd say. So armed with my new giant phablet (that's #NerdSpeak for my giant phone that mirror's a tablet) and read away. I'm instantly drawn in the story of this guy and this girl, one of whom has serious problems and go from there.
I'm not ashamed in the least to admit that I was hooked. I wasn't hooked to the fact that there was a ton of sex (because if you're not into that kind of thing, please don't pick up the book, every 5 pages they are going at it like wild monkeys).....(and seriously? a sn here: who the HELL can survive doodling like wild monkeys like that? I mean really, I'd like to know b/c its just....nuts.) But the STORY? FABULOUS. I mean really fabulous. I guess because I'm in grad school for counseling, I can spot this guys issue a mile away from the beginning of the story...he's got issues with women and has these type of relationships because something tragic and horrible happened to him as a kid. I mean, the writing was on the wall. Of course, I was now obscenely hooked on the book and thus began to tell my husband all about it. He became intrigued, constantly asking what was going on now and where I was at in the book and then we'd discuss it because he was genuinely interested in my ideas about this tortured soul whom you find out (and forgive the spoiler) that he's been tortured as a child by a crack addicted mother and her sadistic baby torturing pimp.
One day, I came across these articlesBlog #1...Blog #2...and best of all Blog #3. So...first off I want to start by saying that I greatly appreciate all these blogs. Regardless of what they say, how they say it, etc... I think these women are great. They have kids, they have husbands, they write, they live their dream each day. I think that's amazing. They have strong convictions about what they think/feel and they have the courage to stand up for their beliefs. I think my issue with what I read was the fact that I'm SO incredibly (and annoyingly sometimes, at least to myself) comfortable in straddling the fence on so many different issues. I have a unique background and an extremely analytic mind (thanks History degree!) and I just can't ever take a "right" postion or a "left" position on any issue. Par example! Zimmerman? He's a total racist. Malcom X? People hail that guy as a freaking hero to the African American culture and he's a COMPLETE. RACIST. See what I mean? I'm a total fence straddler. tee-hee. So, when I see women writing about a book they've never read and are telling me why they won't read it, I kind of get annoyed. How can you judge a book by just what you read up on it? And how can you judge a book by what other CHRISTIANS say about it. I heard once that Christians hurt themselves the most by having too much Christian in their life; how can you teach people who are lost if all your friends are Christian? So if you are saying "oh I'm not reading this book because it's 'un-Christian'" That probably means that you heard it was "bad" from other Christians. *sigh* So, what does that mean about this book or life in general? Well, probably nothing. But I think when you don't know anything about it, you can't say anything about it. Now, I did in the beginning sort of judge the book by what I read about it online. But sadly, there were NO summaries of the book that included anything about the actual story; just that it's classified as "erotic fiction" and its about a dominant/submissive-type relationship and bla bla bla there's a lot of sex. Personally? Having read book 1 & 2 and currently on book 3, I wouldn't classify that as erotic fiction just b/c.....I wouldn't. I mean, sure there's a crap ton of sex in there but who cares? The thing about it is, this guy made bad decisions before he met the girl in the book. So he has a past. WHO DOESN'T??? Unless you're perfect, in which case I'm sure God would love to meet you as He Himself is also perfect. I mean, he doesn't continue that type of relationship with the girl character in the book. They have a MONOGAMOUS relationship with one another. And quite frankly, lets admit that sometimes people in relationships with one another do some weird crap. Some people like toys, some people like oils, some people like role-playing. Who cares? What's behind closed doors is behind closed doors. NOW! I understand that most people are all "well they aren't married and they are doodling still". Well. I mean I'd be hypocrite to say that I don't think that's a good idea because I don't frankly subscribe to that sort of lifestyle. I have a past (as most EVERYONE) does, and that means I've had sex outside my new marriage. 90% of people who are married today have. If you want to wait to have sex with your husband and remain a virgin then I certainly applaud you because it's not easy to do. It's really not. Do I wish I could have come into my marriage pure? Sometimes yes. But I can't change the past; and I choose not to dwell in it. So if you don't believe in that, then by all means don't read it. But I'll say this, it takes a strong man to download the books for his wife that he's been married to for only a month.
I understand the Biblical principles surround the controversy. And people certainly have a right to feel that way. But why shouldn't it be ok for Christians to read what they want. It's a great book, and not just because there's sex in it. Most of the time, I get annoyed when every 5 pages I read about them having sex. A lot of times, I end up skipping it because I want to know the STORY behind what's going on. That's just me; and people who get aroused by reading it are just having a reaction; and whether its good/bad/otherwise shouldn't be judged. Christians aren't supposed to be JUDGING ONE ANOTHER.
In other news, apparently Channing Tatum said he'd do the movie if his wife could be the lead in it with him because he didn't feel comfortable acting with another woman like that that wasn't his wife. Way to stand up for marriages Channing. Makes us love you even more!
Channing Tatum article
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